2
Samuel 13
August
12, 2012
First
Presbyterian Church, Sterling, IL
Christina
Berry
2 Samuel 13, Common English Bible
David's son Absalom had a
beautiful sister whose name was Tamar; and David's son Amnon fell in love with
her. Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister
Tamar, for she was a virgin and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to
her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of David's brother
Shimeah; and Jonadab was a very crafty man. He said to him, "O son of the
king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?"
Amnon said to him, "I love
Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."
Jonadab said to him, "Lie
down on your bed, and pretend to be ill; and when your father comes to see you,
say to him, "Let my sister Tamar come and give me something to eat, and
prepare the food in my sight, so that I may see it and eat it from her hand.'
"
So Amnon lay down, and pretended
to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king,
"Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight,
so that I may eat from her hand." Then
David sent home to Tamar, saying, "Go to your brother Amnon's house, and
prepare food for him." So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, where
he was lying down. She took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and
baked the cakes. Then she took the pan and set them out before him, but he
refused to eat. Amnon said, "Send out everyone from me." So everyone
went out from him. Then Amnon said to
Tamar, "Bring the food into the chamber, so that I may eat from your
hand." So Tamar took the cakes she had made, and brought them into the
chamber to Amnon her brother.
But when she brought them near
him to eat, he took hold of her, and said to her, "Come, lie with me, my
sister." She answered him, "No, my brother, do not force me; for such
a thing is not done in Israel; do not do anything so vile! As for me, where
could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the scoundrels
in Israel. Now therefore, I beg you, speak to the king; for he will not
withhold me from you." But he would not listen to her; and being stronger
than she, he forced her and lay with her.
Then Amnon was seized with a very
great loathing for her; indeed, his loathing was even greater than the lust he
had felt for her. Amnon said to her, "Get out!" But she said to him,
"No, my brother; for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the
other that you did to me." But he would not listen to her. He called the
young man who served him and said, "Put this woman out of my presence, and
bolt the door after her."
(Now she was wearing a long robe
with sleeves; for this is how the virgin daughters of the king were clothed in
earlier times.) So his servant put her out, and bolted the door after her. But
Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore the long robe that she was wearing; she
put her hand on her head, and went away, crying aloud as she went. Her brother
Absalom said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you? Be quiet for
now, my sister; he is your brother; do not take this to heart." So Tamar
remained, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house.
When King David heard of all
these things, he became very angry, but he would not punish his son Amnon,
because he loved him, for he was his firstborn. But Absalom spoke to Amnon
neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had raped his sister
Tamar.
After two full years Absalom had
sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the
king's sons. Absalom came to the king, and said, "Your servant has
sheepshearers; will the king and his servants please go with your
servant?"
But the king said to Absalom,
"No, my son, let us not all go, or else we will be burdensome to
you." He pressed him, but he would
not go but gave him his blessing.
Then Absalom said, "If not,
please let my brother Amnon go with us."
The king said to him, "Why
should he go with you?" But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all
the king's sons go with him.
Absalom made a feast like a
king's feast. Then Absalom commanded his servants, "Watch when Amnon's
heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, "Strike Amnon,' then kill
him. Do not be afraid; have I not myself commanded you? Be courageous and
valiant."
So the servants of Absalom did to
Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons rose, and each mounted
his mule and fled.
While they were on the way, the
report came to David that Absalom had killed all the king's sons, and not one
of them was left. The king rose, tore his garments, and lay on the ground; and
all his servants who were standing by tore their garments. But Jonadab, the son
of David's brother Shimeah, said, "Let not my lord suppose that they have
killed all the young men the king's sons; Amnon alone is dead. This has been
determined by Absalom from the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar. Now therefore,
do not let my lord the king take it to heart, as if all the king's sons were dead;
for Amnon alone is dead." But Absalom fled.
When the young man who kept watch
looked up, he saw many people coming from the Horonaim road by the side of the
mountain. Jonadab said to the king, "See, the king's sons have come; as
your servant said, so it has come about." As soon as he had finished
speaking, the king's sons arrived, and raised their voices and wept; and the
king and all his servants also wept very bitterly.
But Absalom fled, and went to
Talmai son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. David mourned for his son day after day.
Absalom, having fled to Geshur, stayed there three years. And the heart of the
king went out, yearning for Absalom; for he was now consoled over the death of
Amnon.
I want to tell you this morning
about two women you might not have heard of. The first is the wise woman from
Tekoa. The woman from Tekoa, whose name is never mentioned, plays an important
role in the story you have just heard about David’s children, Tamar, Amnon, and
Absalom. This unnamed woman was engaged by David’s general and chief of staff,
Joab. She was sent to confront the king about his son, Absalom.
Before I tell you more about her,
let’s review the arc of the narrative. David has several wives, and several
sons and daughters with those wives. Amnon is David’s first born, with his wife
Ahinoam. Tamar and Absalom are the children of David’s wife Maacah, a princess
of Geshur. So when Amnon schemed to rape Tamar, he was also planning to commit
incest.
David was an unwitting accomplice
in the plot, for when the crafty Jonadab cooked up the ruse to get Tamar into
Amnon’s room, it was David’s command that brought her there, to make the cakes.
Ironically, they were heart-shaped cakes. Tamar, an obedient daughter, went to
her brother’s chamber. When he sent everyone away and grabbed her, Tamar said
everything she could think of to talk him out of it. She begged. She reasoned
with him. She offered to marry him if he would only ask their father. But
Amnon, obsessed with having her, raped her. As frequently happens, when he was
finished, he despised her.
When Absalom
came upon his grief-stricken little sister, he said what he could to comfort
her. And when David found out what had happened, “he got very angry, but he
refused to punish his son Amnon.” It took Absalom two years to take his
revenge, two years in which he must have waited, plotting, grieving as he saw
his sister’s shame. Tamar fades out of the story at this point, although we
know she went to live with Absalom, and we know that when Absalom had a
daughter, he named her Tamar.
After
Absalom killed Amnon, he fled to Geshur, his mother’s homeland. He had been
there three years when the woman of Tekoa gained permission to speak to King
David. She must have been a woman of great courage, and the scripture account
in 2 Samuel 14 says she was a wise woman. The woman of Tekoa, sent by Joab, went
to confront the King about his son, Absalom.
David had
been grieving over the loss of Amnon, and then over the loss of Absalom in his
self-imposed exile. Like Nathan the prophet had before her, she told the King a
story. She told how she and her husband had two sons. One son killed the other,
and left the country. Now, she said, the whole family wants to bring the other
son home, the only surviving heir of the family, and execute him as punishment
for the murder of his brother.
David declares that she must bring
the son home, and guarantees his safe passage, saying,
“As surely
as the Lord lives, not one of your son’s hairs will fall to the ground.”
Then the
woman from Tekoa, being given permission to speak, draws the parallel to the
king’s own family and the banishment of David’s son Absalom. She points out
that everyone must die, “we’re like water spilled out on the ground that can’t
be gathered up again. But God doesn’t take life away; instead he makes plans so
those banished from him don’t stay that way.”
David sees
the logic in her argument, and gives the order for Absalom to come home – not
into the king’s presence, but back to Jerusalem. It was only a matter of time
before Absalom, who was next in line for
the throne now that Amnon was dead, would raise a rebellion and attempt a coup
that would unseat David and make Absalom king. It was in the course of that
rebellion that Absalom was killed, inspiring a lament from David that even
today rings out with pain: “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I
had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”
Who knows
whether David later looked back on this decision with regret – but in this
moment, with the woman of Tekoa, David’s one thought is for his son to be
restored to him.
She has been
courageous, this woman of Tekoa, in confronting a powerful man, and speaking
the truth to him. She has shown him, through a story, the importance of
reconciling with his son Absalom. She is a wise woman indeed, this woman of
Tekoa. That’s one of the women you might not have heard of.
The second
is a woman named Vicky Triponey. I hadn’t heard of her until the last week of
July, when the report of Louis Freeh came out, the report about Penn State. Freeh’s
report revealed a culture at Penn State that was probably a surprise to no one,
a culture of power and influence for Joe
Paterno, and the Penn State football program, creating a culture that most
certainly contributed to the cover-up of Jerry Sandusky’s repeated crimes.
Vicky
Triponey, Vice President of Student Affairs, had confronted that culture more
than once, and to no avail. She ended up quitting her job, under great
pressure, and thought her career was over.
“It all came
to a head, she said, after a major incident in April 2007. More than two dozen
Penn State football players forced their way into an off-campus party. What
resulted were criminal charges against six players and convictions for two.
None of the players ever missed a game. "It was the most manipulated
discipline case I've ever experienced in my 30 years of higher education,"
Triponey said. Manipulated by whom? "Senior leadership of the place,"
Triponey said. "… It would have been the president, the athletic director,
the attorney, and the football coach."[1]
What makes
it worse is that when Triponey quit Penn State, under duress, she found that
she was a pariah in the community. Colleagues and co-workers wouldn’t speak to
her in the grocery store.
It makes you
wonder what might have happened, way back in 2005, if someone had listened to
Triponey. It makes you wonder whether something might have shifted in the Penn
State power structure, something that might have spared those boys who were
victimized by Jerry Sandusky. It makes you wonder.
I know that
these subjects are unpleasant to hear about. I know that we’d prefer to believe
that such things do not happen, and we prefer not to have to think too much
about the horror experienced by victims of rape and molestation. We feel a
sense of revulsion, disgust as we imagine those scenes, a brother raping his
sister, a trusted older man forcing himself on a helpless boy.
It is
shocking, and heartbreaking, to know that every year in this country, more than
200,000 people are victims of sexual assault. Nearly half of them are under the
age of 30.
Nine out of
ten are women. More than 90 percent of juvenile sexual assault victims know
their attacker. Victims of sexual assault are
3 times more
likely to suffer from depression.
6 times more
likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
13 times more
likely to abuse alcohol.
26 times
more likely to abuse drugs.
4 times more
likely to contemplate suicide.[2]
Those
numbers horrify me. Just writing this gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my
stomach.
So why would
I want to talk about this in church, of all places? Because we are God’s
people. And it is because we are God’s people that we need to talk about these
issues. Because it is here that we learn the human stories, our stories, and
here that we learn God’s story. Because it is here that we begin to understand how
God’s story changes our story.
In God’s
story, the wounded find healing.
In God’s
story, the banished son comes home.
In God’s
story, justice is done, but never at the cost of one person’s dignity over
another.
In God’s
story, the kingdom is coming.
In God’s
story, the kingdom is at hand.
And in God’s
story, we find a place to work together for justice, for healing, for care.
In God’s
story we are called to work responsibly together to see that every vulnerable
person is safe, and that every boy knows his own body belongs to him, and that
every girl knows her power to say no, to go, and to tell.
Our impulse,
if we are honest, is to brush aside the ugly details of the story, like David
did, to let the sadness crowd out the call for truth and for justice. One
wonders how the story might have been different, if David had held Amnon to
account. One wonders how the story might have been different, had the officials
at Penn State listened to the voice of a wise woman.
The good
news, friends, is that the story can be different. We can’t change the past, or
prevent what has already happened. But we can make sure that we do all we can
to prevent such horrors in our congregation, our community, our country and our
world.
We can stand
up for the victims of assault and violence, work for causes that seek to heal
and prevent rape and sexual assault, speak up on behalf of the vulnerable,
especially
children.
We can teach
our children to be as safe as they possibly can, and we can build structures of
safety in our homes and in our churches. We can adopt and implement policies
that make sure that no child in our church will be vulnerable to a predator. We
can support laws and legislation that protect the most vulnerable people in our
society.
This story
today is a story of fathers and sons, the tragic family trajectory of King
David and his sons, a story of pain and trouble; it is a story of a father who
put his own needs above those of his daughter. The bigger story, the great
sweeping arc of God’s story, is one that we can only see in part, like seeing
just a fragment of a rainbow.
We see
glimpses of that in the stories Jesus told, about the father who welcomes his son home, about
the judge who responds to the persistent widow. We see that lived out in the
life Jesus led and in his death and resurrection. As the Apostle Paul said,
“now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know
only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now
faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
and the
greatest of these is love.”
If we have
that love, Christ’s love,
for each
other,
for our
neighbors,
for our
world,
and even for
our enemies,
we will be
open and ready to protect those who are weak or in danger,
and to
bravely speak truth to power, with words of wisdom and words of grace.
May God
grant us the wisdom and the courage to be such men and women.
Amen.
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